Yesterday we were talking about unhappiness, and we asked some questions, let’s continue with the discussion.
Unhappiness means things are not going according to our frame of mind, what we thought isn’t happening we are not satisfied and we are not fulfilled our expectations are not met, now question arises here that why we have a particular frame, why do we have expectations that is because of our perceptions, we have set ideas about things about people about relationships.
For an example John is unhappy because his father is not giving him money to go for a trip with friends, Now check what is behind this that makes him unhappy?
Is it Money? Is it father? Is it friends? Is it the trip? Or something else. Surprisingly its only his frame of mind his perception about his father that his father has to pay for all his expectations.
Often in this perception and judging and expectations we completely forget to question ourselves, what is father for us? What is mother for us, what is husband for us, what is girlfriend for us, what is boyfriend for us? We must in life at any given point have to check all the relationships we have, what are these relationships for us?
We must repeatedly check check check……… What are we really doing with these relationships? Are we really in relationships or we are using them to fulfill our own selfish expectations, and when these relationships aren’t able to fulfill our desires and expectations we are blaming each person in this relationship for being responsible for our unhappiness.
Let’s talk about another very practical example, we are not ready to give responsibility to our close related people the authority and responsibility to keep our money, bank passwords, lockers, our house registrations on the name of others, then why we want to put responsibility of our happiness or sadness on others. If we don’t trust them for anything for any authority, then why do we blame them for our unhappiness and our sadness. It’s a sad truth that we are not aware about this precious and valuable exchange of human emotions and we often end up calculating every act everything that is done in a relationship. We judge everything we make relationships mere business deals and not emotional human exchange.
It’s very easy for anyone to say ohh what should I do my boyfriend or girlfriend, my wife or husband my family is not making me happy. But this is not the complete truth, the truth is something else. We are expecting them to be according to our frame of mind to fulfill our desires and expectations. If we think about all this, we would surely reach to a conclusion that we can never feel true love with unconditional feeling.
Solution lies in not expecting and not sticking on our perceptions, solution is to change the way we perceive people emotions and relationships.